


Sweet Taste of a Knife

by TheFlirtMeister



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-20 12:05:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13146348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFlirtMeister/pseuds/TheFlirtMeister
Summary: When Ren looks back into her memories, it is Hux who stands out the most. Hux, with her sneer, and her anger, and her bright red hair.Femslash AU.





	Sweet Taste of a Knife

**Author's Note:**

> yassss lesbians yasssss

Hux’s hair is the colour of burning.

That’s Ren’s first thought when they meet, the adrenaline still pumping through her veins. There is blood smeared across her face, all over her hands and sprayed up her arms. When she closes her eyes, she hears screaming and seees the frightened faces of children as Ren approaches with her lightsabre.

Snoke had wanted her to use a knife. Make it personal.

Hux is five years Ren’s senior, with whatever weight that brings. She is tall, with sheared hair that shows a military background. Her face is sallow, pale skin that clashes with the red, and her mouth is a thin line. She doesn’t seem to be very impressed with Ren in front of her.

“Armitage,” Snoke says, voice booming and yet quiet. “Meet Kylo Ren. Another of my apprentices.”

Hux looks Ren up and down. Ren blinks, and hears the wail of a Jedi toddler, clutching her stuffed Ewok toy. Ren rubs her eyes, and then drops her hands by her sides. Hux raises one ginger eyebrow, and then lowers it.

“You are to work together.” Snoke continues, and Ren realises she’s shaking, physically shaking. She just wants to sit down, she wants to stop feeling like her bones are vibrating underneath her skin. She wants her _mother_.

“With all due respect-“ Hux says, her voice clipped and nasal. It goes straight through Ren’s body.

“I would consider your next sentence Hux.” Snoke interrupts. “Very, very carefully.”

Hux snaps her mouth shut. Ren wonders if her legs are going to collapse underneath her.

“Good.” Snoke says, “Take Ren to her room, make sure she’s comfortable. I’m very proud of her.”

Ren can’t help but give a little pleased smile at that, looking up at her Supreme Leader. This was all worth it, she tells herself. It was all worth it for that tiny amount of praise from Snoke.

Hux gives a little snort, and then bows to Snoke. “Very well Supreme Leader.” She looks over at Ren. “Come with me Kylo.”

Ren bows to Snoke, and then follows Hux out of the room, her boots squelching as she walks. Blood and brain matter has soaked into her socks, and she grimaces as she marches after Hux.

Hux stops the moment they’re outside of Snoke’s chamber, and turns sharply. Ren bumps into her, and then takes a step back, wondering why they’ve stalled.

“Listen to me.” Hux hisses, “We are not friends. We are never going to be friends. I hate you, understand that?”

“Understood.” Ren says, because she didn’t defy the Jedi order, and her parents, her entire _life_ , to befriend Armitage Hux.

“Wonderful.” Hux says, dripping in sarcasm. “Let’s continue then.”

“Let’s.” Ren says, and wonders how long before Snoke has Hux killed.

*

Hux’s hair is the colour of autumn leaves.

Ren has been staring at the back of Hux’s head for most of the First Order meeting, the two of them seated at the back because they arrived late. There had been an incident at lunchtime which had lead to a fight, which had led to Ren with a split lip and Hux with a black eye.

Ren can’t remember the name of the officer who is speaking, only that his name is complicated and has too many apostrophes in. His voice is loud, but boring, and Ren could almost fall asleep in her highly uncomfortable chair.

Hux turns around, fixing Ren with a ghastly stare. “Pay attention.” She hisses.

“I am!” Ren whispers back.

“Clearly not.” Hux says, “I can hear your thoughts and I don’t even have the Force.”

“Well goody for you.” Ren says under her breath, and Hux glares at her.

“You are an outrage to the First Order.” She says.

Ren bristles, about to speak when Phasma turns around. She’s not wearing her helmet for once, exposing skin the colour of snow. She’s ten years older than Ren, and it shows from her posture to the way she speaks. Her brother Kendol sits next to her, looking as bored as Ren feels.

“Shut up.” Phasma swears, and draws a chrome finger across her throat.

“Exactly Ren-“ Hux says, and Phasma prods her hard.

“You and all.” She says, and Hux’s mouth falls open at being told off.

Ren sniggers under her breath, and gets a swift kick from Hux in reply. Ren gives a shout of outrage, and instantly everybody in the meeting swivels around to look at the two of them. Snoke raises his head from where he’s been listening to the officer talk, and stares Ren directly in the face.

“Something interesting happening over there, Kylo Ren?” He asks lazily.

“No Supreme Leader.” Ren says. “Sorry Supreme Leader.”

Snoke blinks slowly at her. “Then why did you cry out?”

“It was-“ Ren says, and then realises she can’t come up with an excuse. “It was an accident.”

“Oh, an accident?” Snoke leans forward dangerously. “How _fascinating_.”

Hux clears her throat. “I’m sorry Supreme Leader.” She says, “I accidentally stepped on Ren’s foot.”

“You two seem to be very good at that.” Snoke says, “Treading on each other’s toes.”

The room is deathly silent. Snoke looks about the room, amused almost, at the power he has over everyone. He slowly returns to his upright position, and nods towards the officer.

“Continue.” He says, and the room lets out a unanimous sigh of relief.

Ren looks at Hux. “Thank you.” She says quietly.

“Shut up Ren.” Hux whispers, and turns back to face the front.

*

Hux’s hair is the colour of rust.

It’s the first thing that Ren sees when she wakes up, face screaming in pain, her entire body on fire. She twists in the hospital bed, crying out in pain, tears streaming down her face, and Hux sighs as if Ren is making a fuss over nothing.

“You ruined my entire military operation.” She tells Ren, crossing her legs at the ankles, ladylike. “Snoke’s pissed.”

Ren howls in pain, arching her body off the bed. She thinks her face must have been cleaved straight in half, the skin peeling away from her skull. She wonders what she looks like- No, she doesn’t want to know. She must have become a monster.

“Stop screaming.” Hux says, “It can’t hurt that badly.”

Ren screeches in reply, and Hux rubs her temples. There is a scab on Hux’s right cheek, an injury she must have sustained on Starkiller Base. How dare Hux only suffer a minor wound, whilst Ren has been carved up by a scavenger brat from Jakku, and a traitor from Hux’s very own army.

“I’m going to-“ Ren gets out through gritted teeth- “Kill you.”

“Sure you will.” Hux says pityingly, and presses a button on the side of Ren’s bed.

Morphine pain relief floods Ren’s veins, and she gives out a stuttering moan of pleasure. She’s bitten down on her bottom lip so hard that blood is trickling down her chin, and she sticks out her tongue to lick it up.

“You disgusting child.” Hux says, “I should have left you to die in the snow.”

“I hate you.” Ren says.

“It would have done us all a favour.” Hux continues, “Made my life a lot easier.”

“I hate you.” Ren repeats, and her arms are too heavy to move. If she could, she’d make a very rude hand gesture that’s banned on five planets.

“Instead I risked my life to save yours.” Hux says. “And dragged your dying body back to the ship.”

She uncrosses her legs and then stands, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ears. Ren glares up at her, feeling her eyes go out of focus with the mixture of pain and relief.

“You’re not getting a fucking apology.” Ren tells her.

“Why would I accept gratitude from you?” Hux sneers. “Pathetic.”

Ren opens her mouth, and then another beautiful burst of morphine hits her behind the eyes, and she drools like she’s been tasered. She gives a deep shuddering breath and closes her eyes, watching the stars and swirls dance in the darkness.

When she opens them again, Hux is still staring down at her. Ren blinks once, twice, and then manages to prise open her sticky mouth to speak.

“Am I disfigured?”

“A scar.” Hux says. “From your jaw to your forehead, across the eye.”

Hux draws the scar onto her own face, and Ren cringes at how repulsive she will look. Still, Lord Vader had scars. It could have been even worse, she could have lost a hand, like the coward Luke Skywalker.

“Disgusting.” She says.

“I think it rather improves your face.” Hux says, raising her eyebrow.

“Fuck you.” Ren says, and settles down to sleep.

*

Hux’s hair is the colour of red wine.

Hux hadn’t been at lunch that afternoon, so Ren takes it upon herself to find out what’s going on, and tease her mercilessly about it. She lets herself into Hux’s chambers, which are equally as bleak as Hux herself, and finds the other woman sitting at her desk.

“You missed lunch.” Ren says, her helmet muffling her voice.

Hux turns to look at her, eyes bloodshot. “What a pity.” She drawls.

“Kriff,” Ren says, “Look at your face. Who died?”

Hux’s knuckles clench on the edge of the table. “My mother.” She snaps, and Ren’s face falters inside her mask.

“Oh.” She says, “I’m sorry.”

“She was a nobody.” Hux says. “A bloody kitchen slave. A slut, who opened her legs to the first man that came along-“

“Hey.” Ren interrupts, and Hux buries her face in her hands. “Hey. Don’t talk about your mother like that.”

“Why, shouldn’t I speak ill of the dead?” Hux snaps. “Give me strength Ren. You’re constantly prattling on about cutting yourself from the past, letting it die. Let me do the same.”

Ren doesn’t speak. Instead, she takes a seat at Hux’s desk quietly, and studies Hux’s face. Hux has clearly been crying for a long time, and her hair is not in it’s usual perfect and groomed state.

“Your mother was a member of the First Order.” Ren says. “She was not a traitor, or an undesirable. You are allowed to grieve.”

Hux looks down at the table, working at one of the grooves with her finger. “My stepmother is the only person left.” She says, “My father, dead. My mother, dead.”

“You killed your father.” Ren reminds her.

“Oh yes, we have so much in common.” Hux says sarcastically. “We’re both guilty of patricide, well done us.”

“We are not guilty of those murders.” Ren says. “They needed to be done.”

“True.” Hux says, and then looks up into Ren’s face. “I’m an orphan now. Isn’t that funny?”

“Very.” Ren says, although it is not. “I wish I could say the same.”

The corner of Hux’s lips twitch upwards. “What a very strange girl you are.” She says, studying Ren’s mask as if she can see directly through it. “I almost find you amusing.”

“The same could be said for you.” Ren replies, and they sit comfortably in silence.

*

Hux’s hair is the colour of blood.

Ren is in the middle of getting changed when Hux bursts into her bedroom with the force of a small bomb. Ren swings around, shirt stuck halfway above her head, bra exposed for the entire world to see.

“Supreme Leader-“ Hux starts, and Ren squawks.

“I’m getting dressed.” She snaps, and Hux looks at her in disbelief.

“And? It’s not like I’ve seen a pair of breasts before.” She says, like Ren has entirely lost her mind. “We need to talk. About Skywalker.”

“Not now.” Ren says, pulling her shirt down to cover herself.

“Yes, now.” Hux says, “Ren, how can we beat him if he feels no pain? I watched you out there in the salt plains, you couldn’t attack him at all-“

“He was a Force projection.” Ren says, “And he’s dead.”

Hux blinks. The two of them stand there, facing off against one another, Hux in disarray and Ren pretending to be calm and collected. What a pair they have become.

“Dead?” Hux says, “How can he be dead?”

“I felt a disturbance in the Force.” Ren says, and takes a seat by the window. She’s so tired, and she’s so angry. How dare Skywalker show her up like that, tricking Ren in front of everyone, and then having the cheek to give himself a peaceful death?

“At least you still have the Force link with the girl.” Hux says.

“She blocked the connection.” Ren says, and Hux splutters.

“Can you do anything right?” She asks, and Ren turns to look at her swiftly.

“Remember who you are talking to Armitage.” She says in a low voice.

“Don’t call me Armitage.” Hux snaps, and Ren throws out her arm towards her, an open threat of Force use.

“I am your Supreme Leader.” Ren reminds her. “I watched Snoke murdered in cold blood, and I was his first choice of replacement. I control the First Order, therefore, I control you. So choose your words wisely, _Armitage_.”

Hux doesn’t speak.

“Cat got your tongue?” Ren asks.

“I’m sorry Supreme Leader.” Hux says, and her voice is strained. “I forgot my place.”

“Well make sure you remember it.” Ren says, voice lowered. “Better men than you have suffered at my hands.”

“I know Supreme Leader.” Hux says, and with a terse nod, she leaves the room.

Ren finds herself missing her.

**Author's Note:**

> comment and they'll work out their ~feelings


End file.
